Soulmate(s)
by Strawbaby909
Summary: Is it even possible to love two people so unconditionally it's like fate brought you together? Well, for Kiku that's the truest thing to his life. Witness his adventures as the confidant to his two most precious (boy)friends in the world, Feliciano and Ludwig. Together, they form a perfect bond. Like an axis that turns the world by itself. (Highschool AU!Geritapan)
1. Enter the nervous freshmen

Was it even possible to have so much unconditional love for two people equally?

Having not one but two shining stars over your world.

Some would say no, there has to be only one person meant for you.

Well, then that makes Kiku rather unique.

After his freshmen year ended on a terrible note, he found himself fearing his return to his high school. He was unsuccessful making friends last year for reasons he couldn't comply. Maybe it was because he still wasn't fantastic at english, or he was quiet and reserved, he had no way of knowing what people thought about him.

As he ate dinner with his family on the last day of summer vacation, he sat in solum silence, staring down the knife by his napkin. He had the strangest impulse to just pick it up and stab himself with it, but he couldn't do that…It would disrupt the family meal.

"So Kiku, am I going to drive you again like last year?" his elder brother and parental guardian asked.

He got so sick and tired of being alone on the bus he ended up taking rides from his brother who didn't understand the concept of speed limit.

"Yes please" Kiku gave a simple answer.

"Why don't you take the bus anymore, what's wrong with it?" his youngest brother Im Yong Soo question abruptly.

"It's just loud, I'm not a fan of it" Kiku told him.

"Don't bother him" his little sister Xiao Mei stook up for him.

His other little brother, Leon, remained extremely quiet through the whole dispute.

"Kiku has his own opinon so it's best to leave it at that, thank you Mei" Yao finished up the conversation quickly.

His family was a bit dysfunctional.

After all, none of them were actually blood related. Kiku and his siblings were adopted from all parts of Asia, Kiku himself originating from Japan.

When Yao was younger and starting out, he was left with the situation of taking care of a small orphaned Kiku or leaving him to die. His brother courageously let go of his goals and dreams and began to raise him.

Kiku sometimes feels that was the wrong thing to do, he should have been left there to die or else his life and Yao's life wouldn't be as chaotic at it is.

Kiku thought he had to be the only person alive, or at least in his school, who didn't have parents or wasn't even relatively related to his guardian.

He had his own little sob story that he could use for sympathy. That would be the wrong thing to do though.

The first day of school was a simple picture and forms day, then you'd follow the schedule you received the next day to officially start school.

He sent in his form and smiled the best he could with his dim eyes.

Then, he made an unexpected meet with a very confused freshmen.

"Uh scusi?" the red-head muttered nervously "I'm really new to this kind of stuff, can I just follow you around?".

"I think you should ask someone else" Kiku admitted to him.

"No please, I won't bother you I promise just…Show me where I take my picture?" he asked.

"What's your last name?" Kiku asked.

"Vargas" he replied.

"You'd be all the way at that booth over there with the Q-Z names" Kiku pointed.

"Thank you!" the boy shook his hand gratefully.

KIku began to think to himself, a sort of protective sense he never felt before. He actually walked over to where the freshmen went to get his photo taken, almost as if to make sure he was okay.

It was the oddest thing, never before had he felt such motherly sense for anyone.

The red-head finished with a great bright smile and an ever greater one when he saw that Kiku waited for him.

"We'll get you your schedule now" Kiku said leading the way.

He waited at the sidelines, the red-head claimed that his name was 'Feliciano Vargas'. It was a bit of a mouthful and sounded very foreign.

He actually had something to connect with this boy about, never before had he heard someone in his school with such a strong accent that matched his own.

Someone else who could mispronounce words just like he does with his l's and r's.

"I've got art 8th period…Now I've gotta wait all day for it" Feliciano mumbled as he returned back to Kiku.

"You take art? What kind?" he said, reaching over the taller freshmen's shoulder.

It read 'Art- nature and renaissance', it was the same exact class he enrolled in that year.

"Well what do you know, I'll be in your class 8th period" Kiku told him.

Feliciano's expression was a lot more energetic than he thought, the boy practically jumped with joy. It brought a smile to Kiku's face.

They walked out of the gym together, Kiku brought up the confidence to ask Feliciano about his origins.

Turns out he was an Italian, who just moved in America 3 years ago and was still relatively new to the school system. He was amazingly good at english already, something Kiku still couldn't master.

"Okay, I'm gonna tell you something I haven't told anyone okies" Feliciano told him. He had a strange way of saying 'okay', it always came out as 'okies'. It was cute though. "I actually have a friend here, I should introduce you to him. I lived in Germany for a while when my grandfather was sick and I met him there when we were both little, turns out he thought I was a girl and had a total crush on me. He even kissed me! Guess what, he still doesn't remember its me!".

"How long have you two been friends then if he doesn't remember that?" Kiku asked him, bewildered.

"I met him again when we were both in middle school, I recognized him immediately but he didn't remember me at all. He doesn't seem like the guy who would have bad memory but eh, things happen. We still ended up friends again" Feliciano shrugged "He actually hated me for a while since I guess I was annoying and over-attached, but now we're really close!".

He intertwined his fingers and snickered, he pulled his feet up to his chest and laid his head against the bench they were sitting on.

"Now how did _that _happen?" Kiku asked.

"That's a story for another time" Feliciano winked.

He was a strange boy, but Kiku found himself liking him.

Feliciano was strangely big on holding hands and actually guided Kiku through the hallways, he said his friend was coming late and they were going to meet him outside. Kiku couldn't help but blush, psychical attachment meant relationship didn't it?

Feliciano was a peculiar one but something attracted him, then he was going to meet the next perfect star in his life to even out the weirdness of it all.

Ludwig Beilschmidt was Feliciano's friend, and a lot taller and scarier looking than he thought.

He was _huge, _compared to both Feliciano and Kiku.

"Ludwig I made a friend!" Feliciano announced "This is Kiku and he's really nice and he's a sophomore and he's been showing me around!".

"You've been showing him around?" Ludwig questioned in a thick German accent.

Kiku nodded anxiously.

"I'm sorry you had to be put through that, hope this one didn't annoy you too much" Ludwig said jokingly in a serious voice. It was supposed to be funny because he let out a small smile at Feliciano's offended response.

"Not funny, I wasn't _that _lost" Feliciano pouted.

Ludwig patted his head to make him happy again and then held out his hand to Kiku, "I'm Ludwig, nice to see someone else who's new to America".

"I've already spent a year here in this school, but uh…Arigato- I-I mean…Thank you" Kiku's nervousness caused him to slip up.

"That's alright, we all forget little things here and there" Ludwig said "Now show me where we get our photos done".

The rest of the day was filled with laughing. Through Feliciano and Ludwig already knew each other, they made sure not to let Kiku feel left out.

It was almost as if they had known each other for centuries.

Everything just felt so natural, like it was his place to be right beside those two.

"Time to head home then…Darn, I've gotta call my brother to get a ride then if he'd even pick up" Feliciano mumbled "Anyone else need a ride?".

"I do" Germany raised his hand.

"My brother's actually heading over, he's my parental guardian" Kiku had no idea why that slipped out of his mouth, I guess now that he had people to talk to he had at least someone to tell his sob story too.

"What a coincidence! My brother is my guardian too!" Feliciano yelled out with the phone still pressed up against his ear.

"Yours is too?" Kiku questioned.

"My brother is mine as well" Ludwig mentioned.

"You both live with your brothers?" Kiku nearly shouted in shock.

"Si, it's a long story, I gotta call him though one sec" Feliciano said as the phone started to beep. Once he was on with his brother he started speaking fluent Italian, it was almost overwhelming how natural he sounded.

"Ciao fratello, immagine e la forma giornata è finita puoi prendermi e Ludwig up?" Feliciano said, then all of a sudden spoke english again. "He'll be coming in a few".

"Someone please explain to me how we somehow have the same oddities?" Kiku pleaded for an answer.

"Oddities? You mean no parents?" Ludwig asked, "I never knew my mom and my dad passed away not too long ago from heart failure".

"Never knew my parents, I lived with my grandfather until he died. Now I live with my older brother" Feliciano explained.

"I never knew my parents either. I was adopted by my older brother at the time, he remained unmarried so he's always just been…Older brother" Kiku said slowly, it was difficult for him to comprehend how coincidental this all was.

"Lookit that~ We can form a no-parents club!" Feliciano giggled cheerfully "If you don't mind Kiku, you, me, and Lud should all hang out after school. We could even stay the night at my place if your comfortable".

"L-Like a sleepover?"

"Si!"

"Isn't that for girls?"

Feliciano's smile never faltered, "You're silly! Boys have sleepovers too, honestly just labeling it as a girls only-thing is unfair".

"Feli's practically like a chick anyway so it doesn't matter" Ludwig told him "It'd be a lot more enjoyable if someone else more sane and less hyper came with me, Feli gets a little weird after midnight".

"I'd love to!" Kiku exclaimed "I-I mean, I'd really, l-like to…Spend time with you both" Kiku stuttered.

"Don't be so shy, I know you can feel it too! We formed a friendship today, It's nice with just Ludwig and me but…I feel like we need you to even us out" Feliciano surprisingly sounded very spiritual "We're like…The three musketeers!".

"Sure, three musketeers" Kiku smiled softly.

A car pulled up and honked loudly, "Coming Fratello! Calmarsi!" Feliciano yelled. That only meant it had to be his brother.

"I'll see you tomorrow" Feli said, he leaned down to kiss Kiku right on the cheek. Leaving the poor boy flustered and confused.

"He does that, don't take it too personally" Ludwig whispered as he followed Feliciano to the car.

Yes, those two were very special to him.

He didn't quite understand the connection yet, but he could tell in the distance future when they became stars like all humans eventually do…They'd be connected in an axis.

And together, they could turn the world.

* * *

><p><strong><em>Ah yes~! I decided to write an OT3 fanfic because i love these three so much and they just match perfectly together. <em>**

**_There is no two-on-two romance, in fact, they all feel unconditional love for each other. _**

**_In a way, all three of them were meant for each other but they ended up in the form of three people. _**

**_Sooooooo technically this is a ''threesome'' but I'm pretty clean with what I write. In a way, they'll seem like all three of them are dating each other or something XD thats what i love about them though. _**


	2. Porcelain face

"How was your day, Kiku?" Yao asked when he got home, and for the first time Kiku could reply with a smile.

"It was good".

It was a nice, warm pleasant feeling. Knowing that his life mattered to someone, or some people.

He returned to school tomorrow to start his classes to find that his science class contained both Feliciano and Ludwig.

Feliciano's face brightened up the second he saw Kiku walk in the door, he attempted to run up and probably hug him but Ludwig put his hand against his shoulder and he fell right back down in his seat.

"I'm so happy to see you again, I missed you!" Feliciano said to him as Kiku sat down in the desk to the right of him. "Kiku, I'm gonna need your number".

"Right" Kiku said, he pulled out his iphone and handed it to Feliciano, "Just type it in".

"Hope you don't mind, I'm putting myself in as Feli. I get tired of saying my name too" Feliciano informed him "Oh! You have emojis!".

Feliciano handed Kiku's phone back with about four hearts next to his name. If this boy wasn't coming onto him than he didn't know what that meant.

"Hearts, Feli?" Kiku questioned.

"He does that with everyone don't worry" Ludwig said.

"I'm just filled with love!" Feliciano sang out, Ludwig mouthed his words perfectly behind him like he knew Feliciano would say that.

"Now it's my turn" Ludwig said "If you need anyone to talk to at all, just send me a text".

"Why do you ask?" Kiku laughed nervously.

"You just look like you need support, someone nice and strong to watch your back" Ludwig said, typing his number into his phone. "We all have stories, Feliciano came to me when he needed help the most and I couldn't deny him, I'm not going to deny you either".

"Luddy is big and strong! He can beat anyone up!" Feliciano said, lifting up One of Ludwig's arms to reveal his muscle.

"Did you have to beat someone up?" Kiku asked.

"Yes" Ludwig answered honestly "I got suspended for only 3 days, it was worth it".

"W-What happened?".

"Feli was going to get hurt and I had to help him".

….

The three of them were lab partners, It felt nice to have someone to turn to and smirk when the teacher asked to find partners.

He learned Feliciano couldn't tie shoes or anything for that matter. He thumbed with his lab smock before Ludwig turned him around to tie it himself.

It's sad to think of, tying your shoes for the first time was sort of like riding a bike. It was rewarding, yet it seemed no one had the time to teach Feliciano that.

"Okay, let's get started!" Feliciano cheered as he started to pour the beaker of ammonia.

"Goggles, Feli" Ludwig reminded him.

"Goggles!" Feliciano repeated in realization of what he was missing on his face, he handed the beaker to KIku and ran off.

Kiku finished pouring and Ludwig handed him the boiling chips.

"I'm sorry about him" Ludwig apologized.

"He doesn't bother me" Kiku told him "I like how happy he is".

"He surely tries hard" Ludwig mumbled, sitting down on the stool by the lab table. "He's been in a bit of a ditch for awhile, but as soon as he met you he really jumped back to his old self when he was in Middle School. I sort of forgot how hyper he was".

"I was in a ditch too, for a while" Kiku said "It happens"

"Me as well" Ludwig added "We should talk about it and his house, I feel we should really connect. Since I know you're going to be a good friend of ours you mine as well hear our story as well as yours".

Feliciano came back with goggles on his face and a lit up burner.

"You're going to burn your hands!" Ludwig scolded him the second he saw the flame sitting in Feliciano's palm, he grabbed it from him and placed it under where the beaker sat onto of the metal hot plate. "You are being really reckless today".

"Sorry" he muttered, he sat down and curled up into himself. He was far too excited though that he bounced back quickly.

Ludwig was an orderly person, he was always in charged of writing notes. He had very neat handwriting as well.

Feliciano loved experimenting and handling things first hand.

As for Kiku, he was in charge of safety. Just to make sure Feli didn't get too close to the flame.

It all worked out orderly, like they were meant to balance out each other.

The day went on with no classes together until 8th period art.

Kiku was never great at art, he had an artistic mind just no ability to express it out on paper. Anatomy was his worst.

Feliciano however was a natural. Kiku asked to look through his sketch book and it was like looking onto a fantastic photograph.

He could incorporate extended metaphors into one picture, it was both realistic and magic and shared a nice spectrum of color.

There seemed to be a lot of Ludwig in his drawings.

"He's an inspiration, he's been my only friend for so long I've leaned onto him" Feliciano stated "But now! I've got a new canvas to work on!".

"Me?" Kiku asked pointing at himself.

"Yes you! Your my friend" Feliciano said, pulling his sketchbook back into his own arms. "I love your complexion, especially your eyes. Asians have always been an appeal to me, you look so delicate…Like a porcelain doll".

"Ludwig has a harder more strict complexion. It's like his face is carved out a chunk of wood. Prominent cheek bones, thin but strong face. Like a sculpture" Feliciano explained further.

"How do you view yourself?" Kiku asked him.

"To be honest, I never thought of myself" Feliciano admitted "I dunno…I'd probably be…".

Feliciano was at a halt, in the midst of thinking…He began to tear up.

"Self confidence isn't my best feature".

…

The day ended and Kiku returned home to pack his things. The first day went by quick and the weekend came shortly after. Yes, it was only a two day week for school, some students still need more break time to become used to the schedule.

"Yao, I'm staying over at a friend's house for the night" Kiku said as walked through the front door.

"Your what? Why didn't you tell me this in the car?" Yao questioned "This is amazing! But are you sure?".

"Yes Yao, I'm sure" Kiku told him.

"Who are they?"

"Two boys in my science class"

"Yes, but do you know them"

"Yes, I do. They're both freshmen, one's name is F-Feli, and the other L-Ludwig"

"I don't think your so sure"

"I'm bad with 'L's okay!"

"Fine, fine" Yao ended the convo "Just make sure you pack everything, especially your pills Kiku".

Kiku rolled his eyes at his pestering brother and went up to grab his duffle bag.

A part of him was nervous to spend the night at another's house, but then again he felt like he _belonged_ there.

He was eager to finally hear more about the two, hopefully things would become even more clear for him. Nothing was to be left out.

Not Feliciano's story.

Not Ludwig's story.

Not even his story would be left out.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Short chapter I'm sorry X'D the next one is going to be muuuuch longer so I wanted to get started on that. <strong>_

_**Please read and review, it helps me a lot!**_


	3. Spinning the bottle

"You brought a big duffle bag" Feliciano pointed out as he opened the door for Kiku.

"D-Did I bring too much then?" Kiku asked nervously.

"N'aw, It's just Ludwig barely brings anything. Your doing everything right" Feliciano said "Is that your brother in the car".

"That's my three brothers and sister in the car" Kiku said, looking back at the car.

Yao waved obnoxiously at him like an overprotective parent not leaving the driveway. Kiku didn't wave back, but Feliciano did.

"Is Ludwig already here?" Kiku asked.

"Yep" Feliciano said, then he soured loudly into the house. "KIKU'S HERE".

"Don't yell!" came a softer response from upstairs.

"Come on, I'll show you my room" Feliciano said, he took Kiku's heavy duffle bag for him and carried it upstairs.

Ludwig had sat down on Feliciano's bed, his room was scattered with paint and canvases.

"It's a work room really but, as you can see I have a place to sleep" Feliciano said patting the mattress "So it's my room".

"It's amazing, I love the one of water color of this…Person" Kiku pointed out the painting he was looking out. A man with reddish-brown hair similar to Feliciano's sat with his head turned away. He looked both peaceful but aggravated, it was strange how one face could hold two different emotions.

"That's my brother, Lovino" Feliciano said "He wasn't too happy but he let me paint him!".

"You do know he's going to use you as inspiration too, right?" Ludwig asked him just to make sure.

"Yes, Feliciano told me. We have art class together" Kiku said.

"First, we've got to share each other's stories. Get to know each other better" Feliciano said "I know about me, I know about Ludwig, but I don't know about you yet. Since you're our friend, we're going to learn your story".

"First, I've gotta said the mood" Feliciano said, shutting off the lights in his room. He took a lava lamp from his closet and plugged it into the wall, then he placed it down on the floor.

"Everyone sit around it" Feliciano ordered.

"This feels like some sort of initiation" Kiku laughed awkwardly.

"In a way it is" Ludwig said "Well, Kiku, start whenever your ready".

"This all stays between the three of us by the way" Feliciano assured him.

Kiku inhaled deeply, it was just now that he realized he really never got the chance to talk about the struggles he went through in his life.

"It all started when my brother Yao found me abandoned in a forest" Kiku said "He was given the option to keep me or set me up for adoption, he decided to keep me. After that, he threw away everything he strived for to be a 'dad' or 'big brother'…Then things got more chaotic".

…

_"__Hello Mr. Wang, I came to how the little boy was doing" a man sad as he entered the house. _

_He leaned over into Kiku's crib and gave a cheeky smile, his old face wrinkled up as he did. _

_"__Seems you're doing a good job, I'll be sure to report that to the child agency" he said "They've been thinking, if you don't mind they'd be willing to have you work for them. Seeing as you no longer have a job". _

_"__That'd be really great" Yao said with a sigh of relief "I really need some money to support both my house and Kiku". _

_Little did they know, Yao was signing up for a lot more than he thought. _

_A few years later when Kiku was much older they received another child, this time it was a girl. _

_"__Why do you have a baby?" Kiku asked. _

_Yao sighed, his eyes were developing dark circles. His complexion always exhausted. _

_"__This one couldn't get a home in time" he said "Her name is Xaio Mei and she's staying with us now". _

_"__Yao, she's still a baby. Are you sure you can handle another one?" Kiku questioned him. _

_"__Of course I can". _

_That was a lie. _

_Money was short as two more little boys came into the picture. Im Yong Soo had a twin that came with him but shortly died of heart failure. Even though the baby only lasted a week, it killed something within Yao. _

_As over worked as he was he loved the children, seeing as he couldn't save one he was at a lost. _

_"__Yao, you need to sleep at some point" Kiku told him. _

_"__Yong Soo is running a fever tonight" Yao said tiredly as he rocked the baby in his arms back and forth, "I've got to watch over him". _

_Yao stayed at the hospital for a long time, for about 2 months he was in critical care. Something about malnutrition._

_Kiku wasn't old enough to watch over his siblings so they were sent to a home for the time being. Truthfully, they weren't sure if Yao would live so they put them up for adoption. _

_None of them were taken. _

_That time at the home was dark for Kiku, he hated it. He constantly wondered why he was alive, he was a complete burden really. If Yao hadn't saved him that day he wouldn't have worked himself half to death. _

_If Kiku had died he wouldn't have to live to see himself live in a home, with little to no clothes and no one to talk to at all. _

_Yao recovered, he returned and went back to school. _

_Made no friends, and was completely isolated. _

_Until he met a very confused freshmen and his friend. _

_…_

"I'm sorry about that Kiku" Feliciano said sympathetically "Like wow…You never even got to know your parents you were just…".

"Left behind? Perhaps, I came with a name tag though" Kiku said "It said 'Kiku Honda'. I already had a surname with me. So maybe there was a story behind why my birth parents gave me up".

"Ludwig you can go" Feliciano said to his friend.

"Alright, I won't go on for too long" Ludwig said "I lived a fairly simple life, never knew my mother though. My father was very strict, especially against my brother. They fought a lot. The only problem I really had was having absolutely no friends, I came across as scary…Then that's when Feliciano came in the picture, I found out I really was scary".

…

_"__You don't remember me?" The red head asked him, his head tilted in confusion. _

_"__No, I don't. I've never let you" Ludwig growled "Just leave me alone". _

_The boy never left him alone though, he always made an attempt. Sometimes he'd just spring out right behind him, like he always knew where to find him. _

_"__Why are you always alone?" he asked. _

_"__Because I like being alone" Ludwig said, trying to eat his lunch in peace. _

_"__No you don't, no one does" Feliciano said as he sat right next to him, "I'm here if you need anyone to talk to". _

_"__I don't want to talk to you" _

_"__Why not? '_

_"__Why do you even need to know?!" Ludwig lashed out "Your annoying and you follow me everywhere and you treat me like I'm some sort of long lost friend you never had. I don't understand why you keep bothering me". _

_Feliciano didn't reply at all, just looked at him with a blank face. He turned his head and continued to stare at the ground, it was as if he took no offense to it at all and just accepted it. _

_Ludwig stood up and left. _

_Feliciano still followed him around, he was just a little more quiet. _

_One time Ludwig walked past a group of boys with Feliciano and the smaller boy promptly hid right beside Ludwig, latched onto his arm trying not to be seen. _

_"__S-Stop" Ludwig shook him off. _

_That move brought the boy's attention, "Oh! Looks like Feliciano got rejected by his boyfriend!". _

_"__I didn't know he was gay?" _

_"__Wasn't it obvious the entire time?!"_

_Feliciano had a strange relationship with those boys. Maybe they were friends before, they almost looked at each other that way, as if they knew each other for a long time. _

_But one of the boys, particularly the taller looking jock boy had an issue with Feliciano. He had a violent impulse, he loved to pull at Feliciano's hair and poke him with a sharp pencil, even an occasional smack in the face that happened in public but everyone ignored it. _

_And then, It happened. _

_Feliciano was chased down him, the boy brought a knife into school and chased Feliciano down with it. First, he pulled it out of his backpack and showed it to Feliciano under his desk. Next came disturbing comments like "I'm going to cut you up" or "This is going right up your throat". _

_Then it happened, right before Ludwig's eyes. _

_They were outside of school for lunch, in an area near the park benches that were relatively quiet. _

_Feliciano was shoved down onto the ground and the boy stood on top of him. Ludwig saw his slash the knife against Feliciano that sent him into action. _

_Ludwig, with full force, shoved the other boy over and punched him repeatedly in the face until some students noticed what was happening and called over the teacher _

_The last thing Ludwig saw before being suspended for 3 days was the image of Feliciano laying on the ground, completely stunned, hand against his neck with blood spying through his fingers. _

_When Ludwig returned to school again, Feliciano was not there. _

_Ludwig began to worry that Feliciano's throat really was slit that day. _

_Until a few weeks later, Feliciano returned to school wearing a long sleeved turtle neck. He was pale, quiet, and looked as if all the life was sucked out of him. _

_As soon as Ludwig saw him, he pulled him into a hug. _

_…_

"That's terrifying" Kiku said, his eyes wide with concern as he glanced over at Feliciano.

"As you can see he didn't kill me and my scar healed up just fine" Feli said, pointing to his neck.

"You're turn Feli" Ludwig said.

Feliciano let out a deep exhale, "So, I never knew what happened to my parents. My mom died after child birth from me, and my dad… I'm not sure, I heard he had a drinking problem. Me and Lovino lived with my grandpa for a while, then grandpa died and I was…Finding myself I guess".

….

_"__You're a fucking idiot" Lovino said as he whipped away at the bloody scars across Felicinao's arm. "What were you aiming for? Attention or some shit?". _

_"__I wasn't thinking" Feliciano said "I guess I…Wanted something to actually be there. To have a more legit reason to feel in pain". _

_"__You haven't slept in 3 days, Feliciano. You're not thinking straight" Lovino told him. _

_"__I was though, this is what I wanted. I wanted something I could keep secret, a scar no one needed to see. Because the way I feel isn't reasonable if I don't have an injury, right?". _

_"__You're stupid, so fucking stupid" Lovino continued to shame him as he cleaned up the bloody mess. He noticed the dazed look on his brother's face and began to lightly slap his cheek, "Hey hey hey, do not pass out on me!". _

_"__S-Sorry'"_

_"__Shit, this is a lot of blood…Shit" Lovino began to panic when the red liquid seeped through the gauze, "S-Shit, Feli don't pass out! Don't you dare". _

_He spent 3 weeks in the psychiatric ward. _

_He was tested positive for chronic depression and severe anxiety issues. _

_He was prescribed pills that his brother claimed 'would help him'. Medicine still seemed very useless, how could pills stop him from feeling the way he did? _

_What made things worse is when the people he used to be friendly with began to be abusive. _

_His normal behavior made him weird, his personality that made him 'special' made him appear to be a fag. _

_Thing never got better. _

_He cried his eyes out so much that his nose and face were always that sickly bright pink color._

_He was excited to see Ludwig again, his old friend that he met when he traveled to Germany for his grandfather. Sadly, he had no recollection of their time together. _

_Suicide was always an option for him. It would be a horribly selfish option. _

_He doubted that his brother would be that upset, but he didn't like the idea of his brother loosing the last family he had. _

_Lovino was almost like motivation for him, he never really thought of himself in his situation. _

_It was always "Lovino would be upset" or "Lovino would be mad". _

_And soon, Ludwig came into the picture._

_…_

"You've never thought of yourself?" Kiku asked him.

"What even is there to think about?" Feliciano shrugged.

He shut off the Lava lamp and nearly tripped over his own two feet while trying to flip the light switch back. "That's it, that's everyone's story. We should uh…Sign a contract".

"Feli, you don't need a contract. It's basically already official that we're friends and we'll keep this stuff only between friends" Ludwig told him.

"I want to make this even _more _official" Feliciano said, he pulled out a piece of paper and a pencil and read out the words out loud as he wrote.

"This agreement is to guarantee that the stuff we discuss between each other stay within each other. Also, to guarantee that the three of us will always be there for each other while the other is in need" Feliciano said, he slid the paper into the middle of the floor. "Now we sign it!".

He already wrote out 'Feliciano Vargas' on the space bellow.

Next was Ludwig, then Kiku himself.

"Okies! Now that there's three of us we can do new fun stuff!" Feliciano stated.

"Like what?" Ludwig questioned.

"Spin the bottle!" Feliciano chuckled.

"You're so full of it" Ludwig rolled his eyes.

"I wanna try it! i kiss everyone all the time, let's see what fate holds in store for us, I wanna kiss someone on the lips" Feliciano said "Is it okay with you Kiku?".

"Sure" Kiku said, honestly not so sure of himself.

Ludwig took out a seltzer water bottle made of glass and placed it on his side on the floor.

"What are the rules Feli?" Ludwig said.

"Just kissing, I'm not into the blow jobs stuff" he said "I'm spinning first".

He spun it with so much energy that it spun for what felt like an entire minute, eventually it landed on Ludwig.

Feliciano smirked and leaned into him, they shared a kiss on the lips until Feli separated them, "Ew! Luddy, why did you use tongue?" he asked, completely grossed out.

"Isn't that how you kiss?"

"That's french kissing, I really don't like french kissing ugh" Feliciano told him "Wow, your such a virgin. What movie told you that Frenching is how you do it?"

"None" Ludwig said, face red with embarrassment "Look, if you don't want to kiss that's fine".

"Nooooo, just do it with your lips" Feliciano said, pointing to his own. "Come here".

They leaned into each other again, "Close your eyes, Luddy" fell advised him before they connected their lips.

It last for just a few seconds until it was Ludwig's turn to spin, this time it landed on Kiku.

He must have looked rightful because Ludwig turned to him and said "I won't use tongue, I promise".

They kissed, it felt sweet and gentle.

It was Kiku's turn to spin and as soon as he let the bottle loose Feli started to shout like a cheerleader. "Yay Kikuuuuu!".

It landed on Feliciano, who smiled brightly and gave Kiku a sweet peck on the lips.

It was strange, both kisses aroused him a bit. But he wasn't in love, he couldn't be. They were just two people who were his very close friends.

They spun a few more times and then they returned to the kitchen for some food. Feliciano took the liberty of cooking.

"We have some bucatini?" Feliciano asked, this lead to a long-lasting confusing silence.

"What?" Kiku had to ask.

"You know, bucatini. It's a type of thick pasta" Feliciano said as he pulled out the box.

"You could have just said it was pasta" Ludwig told him "Just heat it up, you got pasta sauce".

"Si, in the upper cabinet" Feliciano said as he turned on the stove.

"If you don't mind Feli, I could help you" Kiku said, standing next to the younger yet taller boy, "I love cooking".

"Sure, that'd actually be great!" Feliciano smiled down on him.

Kiku was put in charge of the pasta, which wasn't hard when they were just waiting for the water to boil. Feliciano was trying to convince Ludwig to stir the sauce faster, they shared the spoon and worked at their own fixed speed.

If Kiku didn't know better he'd say they were dating.

It was so much more unique than that, Kiku was happy he could be included in such a tight relationship.

He didn't know what to call it yet, but it was something special.

Feliciano's brother came home from wherever he worked after they finished eating dinner.

"Benvenuti a casa" Feliciano greeted his brother with their native language.

"Ugh that's right, you have friends over" Lovino mumbled as he collapsed against the couch. Feliciano brought a bowl of extra pasta over to his brother to eat. Such a doting brother he was.

"Who's the asian?" Lovino asked as he glared over at Kiku who was a new face to him.

"That's Kiku" Feliciano told him.

"Mm, good for you making more friends" Lovino patted his little brother on the back "I'm going to bed, don't do anything dirty or whatever…Lookin' at you German" he glared at Ludwig.

"Don't worry Mr. Vargas, your daughter is safe with me" Ludwig said sarcastically.

"Haha" Lovino replied with even more sarcasm.

"Don't worry about him, he's just tired" Feliciano said "What do you guys want to do next? Movie".

"But what's one we haven't seen?" Ludwig asked.

"We'll rent one on amazon, Kiku what do you like?" Feliciano turned to him.

"U-Uh…Anything really" Kiku said, he was never given a chance to even offer his opinion.

"We can watch like…Means Girls, Kiku have you seen Mean girls?"

"What's mean girls?" KIku looked around absolutely confused.

"OOOH! Luddy he hasn't seen it yet, this'll be great!" Feliciano jumped with excitement.

They popped popcorn and created a fort of blankets on the down stairs couch. They sat knee to knee, shoulder to shoulder. So close that they were practically a bundle of warmth.

"You know, Kiku. You remind me of Kadi" Feliciano told him "In a good way".

Kadi was the innocent and good hearted protagonist in the movie, Kiku couldn't help but feel complimented.

After they finished watching mean girls they ended up watching some old Godzilla movies, the ones with the people dressed in monster suits and bad voice acting.

Feliciano fell asleep midway through the Godzilla movie marathon. He was finally quiet for once so neither one of them complained.

Ludwig and Kiku spent the night shifting Feliciano's position between them, Kiku was in change of where his head lay for the rest of the night. They laughed at every flaw they noticed in the movies and Kiku added his own knowledge of his Japanese homeland into it.

Eventually they left the couch to Feli and they slept on the floor.

Kiku had possibly the greatest time of his life, that is, until he realized what he forgot in the morning…

* * *

><p><strong><em>Feliciano's story is a lot like my story, except minus some personal info X'D When i got into Hetalia he was the character I related to the most because I could see how he smiled for others and went through a lot of pain not for himself, but for others. <em>**

**_Well, I've been having some issues in my personal life so Feli's story just came from my heart._**

**_If anyone's wondering what Kiku forgot, it was his blood pressure medicine…Yep, it's going to be a rude awakening for the three of them._**

**_Till next update!_**


	4. Pills, man just don't forget 'em

When Kiku woke up in the morning it was like entering another dream, as he lifted his head he felt a wave of dizziness over come him.

Something was definitely wrong, he sat up feeling extremely nauseous.

His surroundings were still dark, meaning it was still very dark. He felt as if his own stomach acids would throw up right out of his throat.

He tried to stand up, to escape to the bathroom to find his meds…

Then it hit up, he wasn't at his house.

He stumbled onto his feet then promptly fell over in fatigue, his body completely collapsed to the floor.

That noise was enough to wake Ludwig up who shot straight up and looked for the source of the noise.

"Shit…Kiku, are you okay?" he asked in a hoarse voice, he approached Kiku and knelt over where he lay. Gingerly, he lifted him up so he was no longer resting his head on the hard ground.

"S-S-Somethings wrong…" he stuttered, his voice sounded horribly forced like he would vomit any minute.

"Are you going to be sick?" Ludwig asked "I'll help you to the bathroom". The taller boy tried to help Kiku up but he ended up collapsing against in, knees unbuckled and he had to grab onto Ludwig to stay up.

"Sh, don't pass out. I'll just carry you" Ludwig said, lifting up Kiku easily as he headed for the stairs.

"Ludwig what's wrong?" Feliciano asked as he was pulled out of sleep.

"Kiku's sick" Ludwig said as he climbed the stairs with extra weight.

"W-Wait!" Feliciano finally became aware of the urgency of the issue, his anxiety rose as soon as he heard the two words 'Kiku' and 'Sick' put together.

Before Ludwig could even open the bathroom door, Kiku jumped out of his arms and slammed the door open himself. Last night's dinner came out of his stomach and into the toilet.

Ludwig gave Kiku distance outside the bathroom, while as soon as Feliciano saw his friend hunched over getting sick he dived right in to comfort him.

Kiku spent about 10 minutes just there up everything out of his stomach he finally calmed his stomach but couldn't bring himself the strength to stand up.

He lay with his head pressed up against the toilet seat, between conscious and unconscious.

"How could he have gotten so sick?" Feliciano questioned while rubbing his hand against Kiku's back.

"Maybe it was just a stomach bug? Or…It seemed like something different than that" Ludwig suggested.

"High blood pressure" Kiku muttered.

"High blood pressure? Isn't that a condition for old people?" Feliciano questioned. He looked at Ludwig who then gave him a stern glare.

"It's not just for old people, sometimes it can be genetic" Ludwig informed him.

"Forgot pills" Kiku spoke again in a weak voice.

"Seriously? That is _not _good" even Ludwig began to panic "Are you sure you didn't bring them?".

"Forgot them…".

"Are there any on the shelf medicine we can give him?" Feliciano asked Ludwig.

"I don't think so, But high blood pressure means he needs to stay away from sodium. Since he's thrown up everything left in his stomach we might as well cook him something" Ludwig said "I mean, if we can. I had no idea it could make him so…Sick".

"Fruit is low sodium, if you help me get him downstairs I can open up a can of assorted fruits" Feliciano said.

"I'll take care of him" Ludwig assured "I'm going to pick you up, okay?".

Kiku wasn't very reluctant at all besides weakly trying to push Ludwig off of him. It made him more dizzy just being above the ground.

He was brought downstairs and placed down on the living room couch. Feliciano took out the can opener to pry open the can of fruit.

Kiku's hands were still very shaky so Feliciano ended up feeding him himself. Ludwig sat beside them on Feliciano's laptop searching up High blood pressure and how to take care of it without medication.

"They say people should take regular walks to calm down the pressure" Ludwig said.

"I take a lot of walks, early in the morning when I can't sleep anymore" Kiku told them "I don't particularly go anywhere, just walk around".

"We'll take him around the block to get his blood flowing" Feliciano suggested.

"It's still completely dark out" Ludwig stated the obvious, motioning to the window that showed them just how dark the night was.

"We'll just go around the block and stick together, We'll hold his hands to keep him up" Feliciano said, grabbing onto Kiku's left and lifting him up, "Come on".

Ludwig took hold of the right hand and they braced the cold air of night.

It was at least below 50 at night and they were wearing nothing but sleep wear, boxers and a thrown on shirt really.

They walked across the sidewalk, hand in hand. All connected together.

If Kiku weren't dazed over and nauseous he'd probably run back inside the house. He lived in a traditional asian home where hugs and holding hands meant committed relationship.

But, at the same time it only felt natural. Holding their hands, letting them guide him across the street to get his blood flow in order.

After they finally made it back to Feliciano's house the sun began to rise and the sky turned a light bluish gray.

"Oh finally!" Feliciano exclaimed as he saw his house again, "It's way too cold this morning. Are you feeling better now, Kiku?"

"Yes, thank you" Kiku said gratefully "I'm sorry about everything. I can't believe I'd forget something so important. It's just my brother was nagging and-".

"It doesn't matter, I'm just glad you're okay. But be more careful from now on, if that got any more worse you could of had a stroke" Ludwig told him.

Their hands were still intertwined, they hadn't let go even when Kiku was well enough to walk on his own. He tightened his grip on his two friends and asked out loud, "What does this make us?".

"What do you mean?" Feliciano responded.

"We're obviously very good friends, I mean it clicked so fast it was as if we knew each other all along. But, I feel like we're something more, all 3 of us. It's strange".

"You know…You're right" Feliciano said "But, it's like…Love, but not".

"What are you guys even talking about?" Ludwig questioned them.

"I mean like, I feel like I love you guys. I love you, and care about you, both of you" Kiku said "That's a feeling I've never felt before about anyone, but you're two different people and it feels platonic but also completely unconditional".

"You think we're all in love with each other?" Ludwig asked, completely dumbfounded.

"Kinda" Feliciano answered for him "I dunno, I just feel like we're meant for each other. Somehow".

"Every kiss felt special to me" Kiku added "But what do I know, I've never dated before".

"You two are so weird" Ludwig exclaimed "But what the hell, I care about you both. I'm not good with words, but sure, we're perfect for each other. But I'm afraid people already tease Feliciano for being gay, I don't know what they'd think of us being a threesome".

"You two know nothing about sex I don't think you'll be getting anything anytime soon" Feliciano admitted to them, his eyebrows raised in that sort of 'hell yeah I'm more experienced' look.

"Oh shut up, you're a virgin too" Ludwig talked back.

"But I know how it works better than you!" Feliciano taunted.

"We'll go with very close friends for now" Kiku said "But I'll have you know, if this ever goes far I'll never belong to anyone else but you two. I feel like I need to take care of you".

"Take care of us? You're the one we need to look after, geez" Ludwig said.

It was comedic, it felt as natural as life itself.

They returned back to his house to Lovino's brother fussing over all of them, and by fussing it was just him yelling at how stupid Feliciano was for going outside with barely any clothes on.

Yao drove to his house extremely early after finding that Kiku left his medication in the medicine cabinet at home, so he was pulled back home before he could spend anymore time with his friends.

Though, during the car ride back he received a text from Feliciano.

_"__See you at school tomorrow. We should have another sleepover soon! We could experiment a bit more, but don't forget your pills next time okay? xoxoxo". _

It was strange, the relationship that grew between the three of them.

It was something no one has ever seen before. Three people, three boys, loving each other like it was the most natural thing on earth.

Well, it was real to them.

* * *

><p><strong><em>Well, this story is going to be a developing plot. If there's anything you want to see our three trio doing it could be a filler chapter! Just PM me!<em>**

**_They're relationship is very unique, it's like they love each other, all three of them. But it's so platonic it's almost like they were born all together as one person and split into three. _**

**_This is my first OT3 so i hope it's okay! See you next update_**


	5. The big man doesn't get cold

Some time passed and Kiku's social status with those two were still 'close friends'. Each sleepover they shared together was always sprinkled with a little experimenting.

Wether it was kissing games, even Feliciano tried out 'sexual dice'. You roll them and they give you a situation, it easily made all of them uncomfortable.

So Feliciano decided they should have lunch together. Ludwig and Feliciano had the same lunch wave, Kiku did not. They came up with a plan to sneak into second lunch with Kiku and it was just the sweetest thing.

His entire freshmen year he would sit outside by the lunch benches by himself, now he has something to look forward to.

"I can't believe It's already October" Feliciano mused "It's already so cold". He was wrapped in a big black sweater and skinny jeans. His little nose was bright red as well as his cheeks.

Kiku could say the same thing about himself.

Ludwig, however, was completely cold resistant.

"It's still October, guys" Ludwig said "Stop acting like it's the second ice age".

"You're all big and stuff though" Feliciano lightly punched his shoulder, afterwards he laid back against the lunch bench and let his eyes wander to the sky.

"Do you even think it's natural? Being a threesome?" He asked.

"It's been noted historically" Kiku said.

"But, like, it something possible? Gays exist, you've heard of two guys dating. Maybe you've even heard of two girls and a guy together…" Feliciano rambled "I do think I really want to be with you two romantically…Or in some sort of way. Ludwig has always been important to me but now that Kiku showed up he made me realize…".

"I wouldn't take things too fast, Feli" Ludwig instructed him "I mean, you went through a lot just from being gay I don't want you to nearly get killed again".

"Okay first things first, I'm bi Ludwig, there's a difference" Feliciano went into a rant, he was very serious about his sexuality. To be honest, Kiku thought he was gay all along for how attached he was. But he is Feliciano after all, it wasn't much of a surprise that he loved everyone.

"Secondly, he's long gone and I don't think he'll ever come back. He probably went to another school" Feliciano added to the topic.

"Just be careful, don't be too public about it" Ludwig reminded him "but yes, we'll do experimenting if that's what you two want".

"Yay!" Feliciano cheered out, kicking his feet into the air.

They heard the distant sound of a bell ringing that told them that lunch was over.

"Welp, I've got World civ. now" Feliciano sprang up, throwing his backpack around his shoulders, "Don't be afraid to text me during class Kiks".

Kiks was his new pet name, it sounded a lot like 'keeks'.

"Oh god, I hoped that'd I'd be the only one with the sappy nicknames" Ludwig mumbled to Kiku quickly, out of ear range from Feliciano, "but what the hell. See you later, Kiks".

Kiku shook his head, "Such idiots" he mumbled. Usually he was so polite even with his thoughts.

But they were idiots, his idiots.

Feliciano especially convinced him to join all his favorite social networks, one of which being snapchat. Heck, even Ludwig had him just so Feliciano would feel happier.

One thing that he learned from Feliciano is that he needs a lot of reassurance, he doesn't have many friends because they didn't have the patience to tell him that of course they were his friend.

Ludwig, in contrary to Feliciano fends well off on his own. He does however need someone to at least stay by his side so he doesn't have to spends things such as holidays alone.

Snapchats were their way of communicating, to show the love around.

Kiku's day was horribly lonely except for science and art. Today was going to be long without them.

Feliciano sent him a text saying, _"Snapchat me pls. I wanna see what ur doing in ur class. We're learning about ancient Greece here". _

Kiku lifted his phone from his lap and took a quick snap of the WWII powerpoint on the board.

Next Feliciano made a snapchat saying, _"Txt me". _

He sure wish that boy could make up his mind.

Feliciano's next text read, _"I think I have a name for our little love triangle. Let's call ourselves the axis trio!". _

_"__What do you mean?" _Kiku texted back.

_"__I'm Italian, Lud's german, you're Japanese, and we're all together in stuff (kinda). We're exactly like the axis!" _

_"__Feliciano, you do know they were a horrible group of people determined to rule the world? That might be a little offensive"_

_"__It was all Hitler's propaganda. Anyway, just think about it. Doesn't axis mean something that causes the world to rotate. I kinda like thinking we'll inspire people more". _

Feliciano did have a point, they have all had horrible back stories and still remained relatively isolated.

Kiku himself hasn't really had the chance to communicate and connect with people for years.

He took note to talk to Ludwig about it.

Art class rolled around and while Kiku was working on his own water color painting, Feliciano already began his loose sketch that was amazingly detailed already.

He used Kiku as a reference, except it wasn't Kiku at the same time.

When he said Kiku reminded him of a porcelain doll he kept to that idea. It was Kiku with delicate shiny pale skin, he also had that prolonged sad look that those dolls would usually have.

Lips delicate, eyes wide, and eyebrows hinting hidden sadness.

"What color scheme are you going for when you finally paint it?" Kiku asked him.

"I'm going with early colors, very light blue and purples" Feliciano said "And black, for your hair".

"You flatter me really" Kiku couldn't help but tell him "I feel like I should draw you, thought I'm not very good at drawing people at all. Just flowers…".

"Then draw a flower!" Feliciano supported him "Whatever gives you inspiration~".

Kiku rested his face in the palm of his hand and looked on, he could have sworn Feliciano deliberately made him more beautiful looking.

So Kiku drew a flower, one that resembled Feliciano's fiery red hair. The tips of it were red like blood and dripped off the petals softly.

They went downtown and Kiku ended up taking the both of them to one of his favorite Japanese restaurants just a few blocks away from their school.

He didn't have enough to actually have lunch there but he bought two boxes of mochis.

"I can't believe you've never had this stuff, they're the best" Kiku said as they sat down on the grass, watching the cars drive by.

Feliciano unwrapped his own, "It looks like a a fluffy cloud" he described it.

"It's pounded rice filled with ice-cream, try it" Kiku told him.

Feliciano bit into his own and same with Ludwig, while Ludwig kept his usual pocket face Feliciano's own face lightened up.

"It's like a ice-cream marshmallow!" he said.

"They're good, When I was adopted my brother always made sure that I was at least a little connected to my culture. We would pound mochi all the time" Kiku said.

"That's cute, I hope some time I can get to know your brother. When he's not freaking out and rushing you to the car like last time" Feliciano said.

"Maybe, we have enough kids in the house as it is. I don't think he can handle more stress" Kiku said.

"Believe it or not, I'm not a kid" Feliciano said, raising his eyebrows. He smiled to let everyone know it was a joke but Kiku could tell even Feliciano got tired of being made fun of.

"Where do you wanna go next? I've still got a good half hour till' Lovino needs me home" Feliciano said.

"We could walk to the library" Kiku said "I've been meaning to check out a few books".

They walked all together, hand in hand. When they decided to hold hands they concluded that Feliciano would be in the middle.

He needed a lot of reassurance to begin with so it was better that he got to hold both hands. Kiku would stay by the left and Ludwig took the right, this was there decision when they would hold hands and if they ever had to share a mattress together.

Feliciano and Ludwig kept themselves busy in the fiction section of the library when Kiku sat down in one of the leathered chairs with a pile of books next to him.

The closet thing he could find close to their 'relationship' was a book that described polyamory, which was basically the practice of having more than one lover.

He liked the way it was perceived, a red heart that described love with a blue infinity sign in the middle showing that one's love could go around.

He wasn't sure if he felt romantic love yet, but when he looked at his two younger friends he thought of them as something he needed to protect with his life.

That was love enough right?

It was a hard concept to wrap one's head around, he was definitely sure their peers or family were ready to learn yet.

It was hard enough coming out gay, but coming out gay to two different people would be a bit much.

It would come eventually.

"Hey guys!" Kiku called out to the both of them at the book stand, they turned to him in full attention.

"How about I show you guys how to make flower crown?".

* * *

><p><strong><em>Sorry for late update I've been really sick for a while and I had writers block :,) I hope you all still find this story interesting! Don't be afraid to PM and see you next update!<em>**


	6. Let's talk about sex

"Today is beach day for spirit week! So I um…Well I tried my best" Feliciano stuttered as he stood outside the school in a tank top and swimming trunks.

"Weren't you the one complaining about how cold it was not that long ago?" Ludwig questioned with his eyebrows raised in a sort of 'I-told-you-so' way.

"I wanted to show school spiriiiiit" Feliciano whined in a pathetic voice, not that it was pitiful it just sounded very sad and helpless. Feliciano couldn't hold off the cold well.

"You can wear my coat, I have a long sleeve shirt under because I came prepared" Ludwig took of his navel green jacket and threw it over Feliciano.

It looked way too big for him, they were a few inches apart and Ludwig's shoulder were bigger and broader. He was an overall big person and his coat swallowed Feliciano up, but he smiled contentedly on how warm he was.

"I've never been one to celebrate spirit week, and pep rallies are too loud" Kiku stated his opinion.

"I heard you guys actually have to stand on the risers. There's no way you and Feliciano will see anything over anyone else" Ludwig said "If you want we could just sneak out".

"You guys do that?"

"Me and Ludwig snuck out of assembles all the time!" Feliciano chimed in "I heard it's so much easier to get away with things in high school".

"They don't really keep track now that I think about it" Kiku said, gripping his chin in thought.

"We can go to Ludwig's house! The pep rally is gonna be on friday so we can have another sleep over!" Feliciano said with excitement.

"None of us can drive yet" Kiku pointed out.

"Gilbert wouldn't mind coming to pick us up I bet" Ludwig said.

"Then it's settled Kiku! Let's have fun together, we can try out that thing we decided. With sleeping together" Feliciano grabbed onto Kiku's hands and shook them up and down with pure happiness.

"The sleeping stuff or the 'sleeping-sleeping' stuff?" Kiku questioned between actually resting or sexual content.

"Both!" Feliciano cheered.

"Well, okay. I guess we'll try both" Kiku said "Those I have to ask, are you both virgins or did you already..?"

"We're both virgins" Ludwig said bluntly, then pointed to Feliciano. "He's especially virgin, the most virgin of all of virginity".

"Why are you so keen on experimenting Feliciano?" Kiku asked "You're 15 you're still so…Little".

"It's gonna be gay sex, none of us are gonna get pregnant. Hello!" Feliciano laughed "I just…I just want to try things out".

"You're not just doing it so people won't tease you about it?" Kiku asked suspiciously.

That rung something in Feliciano, he froze up for a solid five seconds until he managed to say a tiny 'no'.

Just as he suspected, peer pressure.

If Feliciano were to loose his virginity he would, first of all, have to actually enjoy it and not do it because some idiots made him feel bad enough to. Second of all, he'll have to be old enough. No way in hell were Kiku and Ludwig going to let him doing anything so rash.

It was clear Feliciano wanted to doing with _them. _The best thing was to humor him and going along with it and then talk sense into him.

After first period, Feliciano walked somewhere else while Ludwig and Kiku walked together to their classes.

"Who do you think it is?" Kiku asked.

Ludwig immediately knew what he meant and answered, "Probably Anthony, he's friend's with the little prick who tried to slit his throat. Apparently he and Feliciano used to 'be friends' but honestly it was a one-sided thing. A complete abusive friendship".

"Poor kid…" Kiku mumbled sadly.

"I know, we're gonna look after him though. At least he doesn't want to have sex with a girl" Ludwig tried to list out the positives.

Kiku shrugged and then they changed their paths to their individual classes.

The rest of the day was quiet, even lunch.

Feliciano kept to himself during art class. He still sat next to Kiku but he remained silent, listening to music.

Kiku tapped his shoulder with his pencil and Feliciano's eyes turned to him, wide with attention. He took his ear buds out.

"What are you listening to?"

"Don't laugh okay" Feliciano said, putting one of his ear buds into Kiku's ears.

Some sort of bizarre pop music played out.

_"__I know exactly what I want and who I want to be. _

_I know exactly why I walk and talk like a machine. _

_I'm now becoming my own self fulfilled prophecy. _

_Oh, oh no, oh no, oh no, oh". _

"What is this?" Kiku asked.

"Marina and the diamonds" Feliciano said shyly. He lifted up his finished sketch with the color scheme penciled into it, "How does it look?"

"Porcelain" Kiku told him.

"Hey! what do you know, I was aiming for that!" Feliciano said sarcastically in a funny way, he giggled lively.

Yep, that was the rule changer right there.

That boy was _not _having sex.

"Can I asked you about this Anthony kid?" Kiku questioned him.

"…Anthony? Like, my old friend Anthony?" Feliciano responded with a questioned.

"Yes, You're…friend" Kiku said.

"He was…Nice, not too nice to me now but he's not horrible" Feliciano's eyes drifted back towards his own paper, obviously wanting to avoid eye contact.

"Does he tease you?"

"Not that much"

"But _does _he tease you"

"…Not that much"

"Feli" Kiku sighed "I just want to make sure he isn't harassing you".

"He's not, I promise" Feliciano said.

It was an empty promise at the start.

…

_"__Have you not have sex with your boyfriends yet?" Anthony yelled out loudly in the hallway causing others to stare. _

_"__H-How do you know about them?" was all Feliciano could ask, in a quiet and terrified voice. _

_"__Are you kidding, it was obvious. There entire time is was fucking obvious" he towered over the shorter boy, his smile wide showing off his braces. _

_"__I mean, I knew you were gay to begin with. But now you love two guys?" he laughed "You are one super fag! So when are you gonna do it? Just stick your dick in both their asses!". _

_"__I don't-" _

_"__Unless you're too scared, I mean come out. Dudes doing it in the ass, it's not like you getting any pussy"_

_"__Please, s-stop" _

_"__Come on, Feliciano. You wanna at least get some respect than fuck your boys in the ass" Anthony punched his shoulder "I mean, you'd get respect from me I guess. I can't imagine anyone would willing fuck a guy in the ass so you can go ahead and be the first guy I know". _

_…_

To be honest, Feliciano was terrified of the idea of sex.

But it was with the people he loved, so it had to be okay…Right?

"You know what Feli, me and Ludwig have been thinking and…Maybe we should, you know, try some things out" Kiku told him "If you want to it's best to do it with us".

"Great!" Feliciano forced a smile.

_"__If you have gay sex with those guys, take some pictures for me" _Anthony's words rung through his head.

"On friday, we'll head out to Ludwig's house, set the mood, and then well…Do it together" Kiku said.

Feliciano didn't sleep at all that night…

* * *

><p><strong><em>We went a bit of a different direction, I'm going to go into Feliciano's story including his abusive friendships, ect. <em>**

**_I've had a lot of abusive friendships in my life so this is sort of my story put into his, I was never sexually harassed but I do have a great fear of sex. It's not for everyone, no matter how people try to pressure you into it, it can be more frightening than a loving thing. _**

**_My anxiety keeps me up all night, so does Feliciano's. _**

**_Let's see how Kiku and Ludwig can work things out. _**


	7. The art of peer pressure

Feliciano's brother casually left his old depression medication by his nightstand while he finally got a few hours of sleep.

Of course he did, it was always when his guard was down that his brother would take the time to imply he should start up his medication again.

It was finally friday, a day he was once excited for but now terrified of.

Anthony was relentless all week, shoving gay porn images in his locker with little notes saying "I want you in this position" or "I better see you do this in your threesome".

He was only 15 for god's sake, he was stupid to even start talking to Anthony again. Never the less even let his relationship with Ludwig and Kiku known.

The only conclusion he could come to was that they were right and he was hopelessly stupid.

His jitters made it hard to stand up. As he tried to walk to his bedroom door his legs threatened to collapse on him.

"Morning" Lovino called out to him as soon as he opened the door.

Feliciano ignored him and pulled his backpack over his shoulder.

"Do you want some breakfast?" Lovino asked.

"No, I'm walking to school" Feliciano told him.

"Hey!" Lovino snapped "Get back in here you little shit!".

Feliciano shut the door on him and escaped into the quiet outdoors. He had a feeling Lovino would be mad, even more when he finds that the pills he left were still on the nightstand.

In reality, he was fine. He had to be.

After he got the whole threesome sex over with it'd be over with…right?

He got to school and ran right into Anthony, "Hey, today's the day!" he said "Remember to video tape it with this, okay?".

He handed Feliciano a camcorder, he opened up the screen and observed the small machine.

"It's easy to use unless your stupid" Anthony said.

Feliciano still stared at it with a puzzled look.

Anthony sighed, "The on button is the red one, dumb ass".

Feliciano turned it on for him and held it up to Anthony's face.

"Good, now get that through your thick head. Place it somewhere your boyfriends can't find it and keep in on through the whole thing".

"Um…What are you going to do with the video?"

"None of your business" Anthony told him "Just record it and you won't get beat up".

Feliciano gulped. Shit, there was no win for him in this situation.

"Oh yeah, Jacob says hi" Anthony said, the bell rang and he walked off to his own class.

Jacob left his mind so long ago…Just the fact that he still existed, still lived in the area and was probably out of Juvenile jail.

The boy who nearly slit his throat years ago had said hi to him through Anthony.

Oh, how his life was going downhill…

…

"Hey Feli" Kiku said softly as his friend walked into the classroom looking very down.

When he got no reply, Kiku decided it was time to ask the sensitive questions.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I haven't really been sleeping lately and-".

"We could tell, Feliciano" Ludwig interrupted him.

"Really?"

"It was obvious, Kiddo" Kiku told him "No offense, but you just look so tired all week. Maybe we shouldn't _do it _tonight, maybe it's best if you just sleep".

"No, I'm not tired!" Feliciano pulled a large fake smile "I slept tonight actually, I'm all good now".

"Well if you say so" Kiku said "It's just surprising, you haven't even dressed up for the most important day of spirit week".

"I forgot" Feliciano admitted "What was it?".

"Blue and gold, our school colors" Kiku said "I do have something for you though". He reached into his backpack and pulled out a plastic bag, handing it to Feliciano it was revealed to be a plastic flower crown with Blue bells and dutch master daffodils.

Blue and Gold.

"Did you get this from Claire's?" Feliciano asked.

"Bingo" Kiku smiled "You were so sad when you found you couldn't save the one we made in my garden a few days ago so he's one that won't die".

"Thank you Kiku, I'd give you a kiss but we're in class"

"That hasn't stopped you before though" Ludwig inferred.

"Fine, fine" Feliciano pecked Kiku's cheek and then paid his attention to their teacher as the last bell to start class rung.

He was thankful that no one really noticed how anxious he was the rest of the day, he just listened to Kiku talk during art then he'd add his two cents and then the next thing he knew he was in Gilbert's car driving to Ludwig's house.

"Feliciano, mi amigo. Como estas?" Gilbert jokingly asked him.

"Mi scusi? I-I mean" Feliciano stuttered, the sudden Spanish made him slip into Italian.

"Ha! Got you!" he declared "I'm just joking with you though, you seemed quiet".

"He's tired, you should be happy he's quiet" Ludwig told him from the front seat.

"You're so mean Ludwig! He used to be your only friend, have a little respect for the guy" Gilbert talked back.

"Don't fight" Feliciano said.

That was it from them the whole car ride, he had to admit he liked that they listened to him.

Once they got to Ludwig's house they retreated to his basement which was the best place for pillow forts.

Feliciano fiddled with the camcorder in his pocket, "G-Guys, do you think we can do it now?".

"Not now Feliciano, my brother's still in the house" Ludwig told him off bluntly "I mean, sure if you still want to we can do it when he goes to bed. He's a pretty deep sleeper".

"You look so tense, what's the matter?" Kiku asked.

"I haven't eaten all day" Feliciano blurted out the only legit excuse he could think of. It was true, he hadn't had breakfast or lunch.

"Why weren't you eating lunch with us then? I just assumed you had a big breakfast or something" Ludwig said.

"I skipped breakfast and forgot to eat lunch"

"Well shit, I'll grab you something" Ludwig said "But first…". He felt the area around Feliciano's waist, how his hands leaned in more than he should.

"You haven't been eating for awhile, I can tell" Ludwig said "Have you started cu-".

"No" Feliciano said quickly "Me and Lovino have been on each others cases for the past week, that's all".

"That brother of yours" Ludwig sighed, He marched upstairs saying one last time that he'd get some food.

Kiku and him sat in silence.

They spent the entire day silent really, Feliciano kept his trap shut for once and they spent most of the day watching movies.

It made Feliciano tempted to sleep but he resisted, eyeing the camcorder he placed just behind the TV. It's lens eyeing where they all sat on the reclining bed.

Ludwig was looking up "How to pleasure" on google, Kiku was still trying to convince them otherwise, Feliciano was just waiting for it to all be over with.

Then, Kiku went right for it. He finally came to the false realization that Feliciano wanted what he did and he gently kissed his face, then went down lower and lower.

He stuck his fingers into the neck of Feliciano's shirt and pulled it down. He pressed his hands up against his waist and pulled his shirt off.

Ludwig serenaded behind him, quite awkwardly, and undid the zipper on his jeans.

They were all silent, the mood was supposed to be set but he felt the most unnerving pain in his chest. One that made him want to scream and cry.

As soon as he felt Ludwig' hand creep into his pants he let out a panicked yelp.

"S-STOP!"

He zipped his pants back up and coiled into himself whispering "I can't do it", there was so much sorrow in his voice.

"Feli, why didn't you say so?" Kiku asked him in a sad apologetic voice, his dark eyes looking down upon him with such responsibility for what happened.

"I-I thought I w-wanted it but I didn't, I didn't" Feli cried "Anthony found out about us and he wanted to see us have sex. I didn't know what to do. He made me take a camcorder with me, it's right there" Feliciano pointed towards the gadget right next to the TV, "He forced me to record it, he didn't say what his reasons were but he was probably just going to show the whole school all along. I didn't know what to do, he mentioned Jacob and I got scared and-".

"Shhh Feli" Ludwig shushed him softly, patting his back "We aren't mad, just don't let yourself get succumbed to peer pressure like that".

"Who's Jacob?" Kiku seemed lost.

"The boy who attacked him in middle school" Ludwig answered, then turned to Feliciano. "By the way, why did that asshole mention him anyway".

"He was apparently talking to Jacob. He told me he s-said 'hi' and I just-"

"Listen to me, you're safe. He's not coming to get you, even if he does I can beat him up easily. He's also probably still in juvenile jail and he'll be monitored if he gets out. He won't touch you" Ludwig said "Stop holding this all in. I know you're struggling with the family issues, and the bullies, and the anxiety. But don't just think sex will solve all your problems, because it won't".

"Ludwig, you're being rather hard on him" Kiku mentioned as he sat beside Italy, gently petting his hair. "You just need reassurance and some good people to take care of you. You're perfect, okay? And look, you're also too young for sex so I'm gonna have to make a rule that we all don't do anything of that sort until you're older".

Feliciano nodded through his remaining tears.

They sat down in silence as Feliciano's previous dry heaving began to stop. They brought a bucket down just in case but the boy ended up falling asleep through it all.

It came to their attention that he was neglecting every day hygiene. He didn't sleep, eat, or shower much at all.

"Why does he do that to himself?" Kiku asked. He draped a blanket on top of the redhead's sleeping form gently, sitting down right near his face to keep a close eye.

"I don't know. It's sort of just a reactive thing for him. He gets put in a bad situation and he tortures himself for it" Ludwig said "It's something with the depression, or chemical imbalance. That's what he prefers to call it at least".

"I didn't help at all. I can't believe I didn't pick up on any of that" Kiku said "To be honest I was never even interested in sex ever. I should have just told him no because I was uncomfortable with it, I'd hate to guilt-trip him but that would probably work out better".

"You don't ever want to have sex? Ever" Germany asked.

"Not really. I don't know. I love you both but…I don't like the idea of sex" Kiku said.

"Sounds to me like you're asexual. I think that's the term for it, when you can love someone romantically but not sexually" Ludwig said "I've been thinking about my sexuality a lot. Italy already understands and embraces his own bisexuality, I never thought of mine"

"So what do you think of yourself, Ludwig?" Kiku questioned.

"I don't think I ever knew love until I met you both. If I were to have sex I'd want it to be with either of you. Come to think of it I never envisioned myself with a girl either" Ludwig said "I was asked out once or twice but I always said no. Feliciano changed that, and when you came a long so did you".

"So, you want to settle with homosexual?"

"Yeah, I think so. At least I have a preference now, I like that".

They turned their attention back to Feliciano who was strangely quiet the whole time.

"He must have been so tired…" Kiku stated "At least he can sleep soundly now". He reached up and grabbed the camcorder, turning off the record button and deleting the data stored on it.

"What should we do about Anthony? He won't stop harassing Feliciano if he finds out he couldn't record it" Kiku mentioned.

"First of all, if he touches Feliciano at all I will beat him up" Ludwig said "For real. I'm not going to stare at him and wait until he get intimidated by my size, I'll punch him".

"You'll get expelled and Feliciano will probably get even more nervous" Kiku contradicted.

"Well what else?"

Kiku fiddled with the camcorder more before showing Ludwig his most determinate face.

"We'll make a video of our own".

* * *

><p><strong>Feliciano- Bisexual <strong>

**Kiku- Asexual (I hope I got the term right. If not I'm sorry)**

**Ludwig- Homosexual **

**_Sorry for very late update. This note will be left on all of the newest updates of my stories. I've been at the hospital for a while because of personal reasons and then I had to get used to going to school again. _**

**_I should be getting back to work again! See you next update. _**


End file.
